Holy *&^% The Funniest Toddler Blog!

Seems that toddlers are getting even with their moms. Mommy blogging? They can do one better. Toddler blogging! And, it’s ain’t pretty. These little ones have some mouth on them!

Check out Bedtimes Are For Suckers and have a great laugh. You know this is EXACTLY what your kid is thinking!

Here’s a sampling of some content from posts:

From “Mom, WTF Is This On My Plate?”

Little did I know that after my first taste of rice cereal all my culinary experiences would be downhill from there. And lately, since her metabolism conked out she finally realized after 40 years that she can’t eat her weight in ice cream or snarf multiple bowls of cereal after 10PM.

Reality’s a cellulite-covered bitch.

From “3 Surefire Ways To Con Your Idiot Parents”

2) Time Keeps On Tickin’, Tickin’ Into the Future
Sure, I haven’t learned how to tell time yet, but I have learned that the “2 minute warning” doesn’t mean squat. It’s sooo easy to prolong any event (park, storytime, painting the cat) by incrementally asking for “just a couple more minutes.” Parents might have mastered telling time but they damn well don’t know how to keep track of it. (Bonus points if they’ve got an iPhone … 2 more minutes can go on forever if they start texting!) I once finagled 28 consecutive installments of “two more minutes.” Worked like a charm.

From “Mommy, Put Down The Goddam iPhone”

I swear she looks at the thing about a gazillion times a day. And for what? Does a women in her 40′s really need to see who responded to her Facebook status? Who really gives a shit? Facebook was designed for college students not middle-aged women who waited way too long to have children.

Enjoy!

 

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