I saw a Twitter post the other day that stated “when it comes to Mother’s Day, does anyone ask a mom how she’s really doing?” And it got me thinking. Would anyone, a mom included, 100% honestly answer that question? And when people ask “how are you?” do they actually, truly want to know or do they just want the polite “I’m fine, how are you?”. Do we really want to tell and do we really want to know?
I know when I had my daughter and had awful postpartum depression, I wasn’t truthful with myself. Every doctors appointment I thought I’d go in and tell her how awful I was dealing with it, how horrible I felt, how I cry every night. Then, miraculously on the day of the appointment I’d think “wow, I feel so much better” and not say anything and continue crying in the shower. Finally, at the end I said something, but always wish I had opened my usually big mouth sooner. The odd thing is, I answered the checklist they gave me with honesty and they looked it over (obviously not very carefully) and asked how I was doing. If they had truly paid attention to my answers, they might have pried a little harder (I hope).
I’m no expert by any means. But I’d like to say, if you feel a little sad talk to someone. If a close family member asks you how you are, take them up on the opportunity to tell them maybe you aren’t doing so well. I understand we are turning into a society that values perfection more than anything, but nobody is. It’s better to tell someone “I could be doing better” and maybe get some help than to struggle and affect your children.
So, we at Momsense would REALLY like to know “how are you?”